This post covers the best ideas for self care to transform your life.
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Y’all remember Cher from Clueless? Her whole deal was giving Tai (RIP Brittany Murphy wahh) the new girl a makeover?
Then toward the end of the movie, her selfishly motivated shallow makeover of her friend Tai, Tai turned into, well, a b*tch!
Discouraged, she was like you know what? It’s time for something different.
In the midst of the Pismo Beach Disaster, she had an actual urge to do good, to simply do good! That’s when she realized, it’s time to makeover her soul!
Being hot doesn’t fulfill you as much as having a healthy soul.
That was the aha moment for Cher in Clueless (a total must watch BTW.)
No matter how many clothes you buy, haircuts you try, new people you date, none of that will make you feel as good as you can with a true soul makeover!
Trust me, this is coming from a self-proclaimed self-care connoisseur, okay? I live for pampering, I used to work at a freakin wellness spa!
All of that fun stuff is well and good, and don’t worry I’ll definitely make a separate list on that, but this list I’m about to give you will go much further than a facial dear!
Let’s get into this list of 25 best ideas for self care.
This post covers the best ideas for self care to try right now.
Ideas for Self Care
Get ready to start feeling good starting from within girl. These are the best ideas for self care to nurture your spirit. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it!
1. Take a Social Media Hiatus
This one is a biggie. We have become entangled in the world of social media.
In a way, we have forgotten what life was like without social media (I’ll give you a hint: people were happier!)
As of 2023, over 4.26 billion people worldwide use social media, with the average daily usage being 2 hours and 27 minutes (DataReportal, 2023).
That is a f*ck ton of people and time being squandered on social media.
That’s nearly 18 freakin hours the average person uses social media a week!
As time goes on and more studies come out, it’s become apparent social media does far more harm to our health and wellness than its supposed mission of bringing us closer together.
Using social media such as Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Twitter, and so on has been found to do the opposite.
Social media has been found to increase feelings of anxiety, depression, isolation, inadequacy, rates of self-harm hospitalization, suicide, and decreased levels of self-esteem… especially since the lockdowns of 2020.
Not to mention it’s been linked to insomnia and social freaking anxiety!
Can you believe it? A concept meant to bring us together and socialize does the opposite.
Also, what people share on social media has never been more curated and inauthentic AF.
We’re in an age where people can freaking rent a nice outfit, designer bag, and faux private jet, then FaceTune and filter the eff out of their pictures to make their following believe they are rich, beautiful and living in the fast lane when they’re full of sh*t.
I remember an episode of South Park called The Hobbit where all the girls got their hands on Photoshop and started highly manipulating pictures of themselves with “better” bodies and “prettier” faces to put on their social media after the girls caught wind that this is essentially how the Kardashians operate and grow their empire!
So much of what we see on social media is highly manipulated by the creator and curated by the platform to keep you in a state of longing and wanting more.
At the very least, social media robs you of the energy, time, and creativity you could be spending on yourself, and instead, you are giving it to snarky a*holes in the comment section on some goofy controversial post you stumbled upon.
Since quitting social media altogether, I have never been more productive.
When I periodically go on Instagram to find content to share on my blog, I will quickly fall into the trap of:
“Oh my gosh this girl is sooo pretty. She’s got a great house, good looking husband, kids, dogs the whole shabang. Why can’t I look like that? Why can’t I be that mom who is always dressed to the nines and looking perfect and being the perfect mom and wife with a perfect house and life?”
Then I remember, oh yeah, most people are full of sh*t on social media.
That image they’re painting is precisely what they want me to see, and that reaction is what they want.
What people share is just the tip of the iceberg (especially in the mom community), and in a way social media has become a tool of mass gaslighting and emotional manipulation of its users.
Let’s be real, many people love showboating, gloating and showing off on social media. Not to mention glorify their actual circumstances.
It never has nor will be a way to genuinely and authentically connect with people. I have not missed social media.
I learned the concept of social media is to consume someone else’s life, not live yours.
You don’t have to quit cold turkey like I did, but consider taking a hiatus from social media for self care.
Quitting social media is a definite extreme self care route!
2. Drink Celery Juice
I freaking love celery juice. Celery juice is jammed and uber-rich with essential vitamins, minerals, and nutrients.
It absorbs super fast into your system being in liquid and is insanely hydrating.
If you’ve read my 15 Best Pregnancy Constipation Relief Practices, you will know that I used celery juice throughout my pregnancy to keep my digestion in check!
It contains a butt ton of antioxidants, helps lower your blood pressure, and has awesome anti-inflammatory benefits.
Either for temporary detox purposes or while making long-term lifestyle changes, adding celery juice to your diet will clear your skin, bowels, and old blood cells and is a great way to cleanse your body all around.
I use my juicer to juice my celery; I add lemon juice, collagen peptides, a pinch of cayenne pepper and apple juice.
Then, first thing in the morning, I would drink a cup.
Again, whether you want this to be a temporary or lifestyle change, you will feel the benefits!
3. Take an Alcohol Hiatus
Did you know that during the 2020 lockdowns, at least in mothers, alcohol consumption increased by over 300%?
It rose more for parents, but the overall increase of alcohol consumption during those lockdowns from adults increased significantly regardless of parenthood status.
From crappy skin issues to increased anxiety, it’s no secret that alcohol harms our bodily and mental health.
Not to mention, alcohol steals your feel-good hormone rations, such as dopamine and oxytocin, and pushes them to the front during your drinking, i.e., your buzz.
That’s why so many of us are subject to anxiety, paranoia, and depressive episodes after drinking; those feel-good hormones are all used up and need to be replenished!
But if you continue to drink, you are taking more rations that are stored to help you feel better now but only digs you into a deeper feel-good deficit.
In a way, it’s like borrowing money you don’t have, sure, you have the cash now, but you’ll be left with more debt to pay in the future.
When writing this paper, I have been alcohol-free for nine months and plan on making that a permanent change.
The difference I’ve seen in my skin, mental health, sleep, and not to mention weight, alcohol just doesn’t seem worth it to me anymore.
Drinking alcohol can def give you more of a self care deficit than fulfillment.
You don’t have to go sober, but take this time to reflect on your relationship with alcohol and if it’s serving you.
4. Slow Down
I’m so happy to see a movement around slowing down with life.
Especially us Americans, in a way, we have been bred for hard labor, hustle culture, hyper-perfectionism, and achievement.
This stems from a culture that only values monetary success, but not sitting back and smelling the flowers.
Remember, we are in an age that is constantly stimulated, if not overstimulated.
We have reached a point where we can’t even refrain from checking our phones while waiting at a stop light in our car.
This stems from social media addiction and an intense need to be distracted constantly.
The desire for constant distraction prevents us from slowing down, being present with ourselves, and enjoying life.
When you constantly go through work, parenting, home duties, and then check your phones a bajillion times to play Candy Crush or check TikTok, how can you possibly enjoy just being?
Our culture treats boredom like a plague to avoid desperately, but being bored is a skill and necessary.
We can’t constantly be stimulated to feel good, balanced, and healthy.
Try resting in bed and just lying there with your thoughts, try going on an entire car ride without checking your phone…try walking your dog without using your phone, and just enjoy the outdoors with your fur baby!
It’s an opportunity to unplug and enjoy.
You get the picture; just chill, slow down, and learn to be more.
5. Talk a Walk
I love taking walks for my wellness. Gandhi swore by it, and I see why.
My toddler’s temperament is also much better after we walk together.
It’s great for exercise, but it’s a great way to slow down and enjoy the outdoors.
Gandhi attributed his emancipation and liberation from daily crises and helped him seek truth through daily walking trips.
He called it the “prince of exercises.”
I totally get it if you don’t jive with the traditional hyper-achieving gym rat/exercise culture; I freakin don’t! It takes a specific person with a ton of extra energy to exert heavily in a healthy way through working out.
That’s their self care.
Most of us, however, can get into great shape and garner health and wellness with walking routines.
If you live in the center of a busy and loud ass city, try and research parks, trails, or woods in the area you can retreat to nature with and get a good healthy walk in.
If you have dogs, try walking without being on your phone and enjoy being outside with your fur baby.
6. Deep Breathing
Girrrrlll, deep breathing is so freakin healing it’s shocking.
I was taking an insomnia medication years ago that gave me horrible adverse effects of incapacitating anxiety to where I woke up every day with panic attacks while sh*tting and vomiting in the morning for hours.
My frustratingly unempathetic provider told me to suck it up, that this anguish was apparently normal, and to keep taking more (honestly, what a b*tch.)
I ignored her advice, ceased taking the medication, and was ready to start healing my body as naturally as possible.
While my body was recovering, for about a week, I was waking up with my anxiety attacks. Initially, I was still getting sick, but I worked hard to breathe.
When laying in bed and doing deep breathing that was heavy and controlled, I would start to relax very quickly.
I could feel the fresh oxygen entering my body in mass and exhaling that anxiety.
During this time, I would also go for, you guessed it, walks! After deep breathing, I would take a quick walk around the neighborhood.
I am happy to say after about ten days, my body had detoxed entirely from the medication.
I no longer have anxiety attacks and have yet to have one since, and the deep breathing and walking helped me sleep better than I could have ever imagined.
You don’t need to do anything fancy; just slow and controlled deep breathing over a few minutes and see how you feel.
7. Journaling
Journaling has been a God-sent therapy for my wellness.
Everyone needs a journal. We all have thoughts and feelings that go unsaid.
These thoughts and feelings can often be toxic and painful.
If we don’t release it, it remains a festering open wound we carry around.
This is no way to live.
Take up journaling, not necessarily for diary purposes and writing down what you did, but more importantly, writing about where you’re at, how you’re feeling, and that’s it.
You don’t need to have solutions or answers to your pain or problems; the energy practice of transferring those toxic and hurtful thoughts and feelings into paper releases them from your soul.
You will be surprised how much better you feel when doing this.
I highly recommend this for mamas, especially.
God knows parenting is trying to ensure we are the best parents we can be; taking care of our hurts and pains healthily is the best parenting move you can do for your kids and yourself.
Don’t even worry about feeling obligated to do it all the time.
For me, it’s turned into a therapeutic and medicinal treatment when I have my big feelings. I go straight to my journal and let it all out.
When I used to grab a drink whenever I felt triggered, now I grab my journal and let it all out!
I always feel lighter and much better after. It’s a mindful self care practice.
8. Inner Bonding
Learning how to reconnect with my divine guidance by parenting myself through inner bonding was the best gifts for self care I ever could have given myself.
I started doing my Inner Bonding therapy to help me connect with my inner child again.
Ultimately, we are all our inner children operating through the behaviors we learned.
As we age, we can get caught up in life and become estranged from ourselves or our inner child.
Our inner child is our divine guidance; that little girl or boy still lives inside of you, even if you buried them down for survival (most of us do.)
However, it doesn’t have to be like that anymore.
The more I connect with my inner child, the better I parent her (myself) and stick up for her wants, needs, boundaries, and wellness.
It’s common to grow up in narcissistic environments that involve pushing down our needs, wants, and wellness and forsaking our boundaries to please others.
This means putting that poor inner child that lives in you last; no wonder we are so hurt.
We will never get the love, acceptance, and adoration we want from others if we don’t give it to ourselves!
Check out the Inner Bonding Workbook. Since starting my alcohol-free journey, it’s been a great way to help me reconnect with myself to become healthier and whole.
It works dude!
9. Setting Boundaries
Which leads me to this biggie. I feel we are in a culture that mistakes boundaries for being type A or controlling.
Considering the abusive gas-lighting nature of our society, of course, it would demonize setting boundaries as selfish and controlling.
No matter your boundaries, you must set them, live by them, and stand by them; they are yours, and they matter.
Learning to say yes and no for you is liberating to the max.
Never do anything you don’t feel comfortable or safe with, and vocalize them!
This is part of parenting yourself that we talked about before.
Parenting yourself means sticking up for your inner child and setting boundaries as the loving adult you are for your inner child, just like you would your own children.
You wouldn’t tell your kids their boundaries don’t matter, and you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, ego, or day simply for setting their boundaries, right? No!
You matter, your feelings matter, your needs matter, your boundaries matter and are valid, regardless if someone attempts to criticize or demonize you for it because, trust me, they aren’t setting boundaries, so they’re tweaked you are!
Misery loves company.
10. Engage in Nostalgia
OMGoodness, you guys, this is an excellent and fun way to reconnect with your inner child and feel bliss af.
Seratonin is the reward chemical we feel when we are exposed to something familiar, it makes us feel safe and happy. This is why listening to some of your favorite songs at a kid, it will help you bond with your inner child.
We all have music, movies, shows, books, games, food, or experiences from our childhood that bring happiness and love to those memories.
For example, I made a playlist on Spotify that has all my Blink182, Sum41, Yellowcard, Jimmy Eat World, and all the Cali Skater rock music I grew up listening to in San Diego as a kid.
It makes me feel so good and alive; it reminds me of all those good times and makes me feel, well, more me!
Put together a playlist with your favorite songs from when you were young, or watch one of your favorite childhood movies (The Neverending Story geek over here lol), eat one of your favorite childhood meals, play a game, or visit a location you vibed with as a kid.
This is a great way to reconnect with your inner child and quickly feel better.
As much as I love nostalgia, don’t get lost in it. It’s a great tool to utilize periodically because nostalgia involves the good stuff we remember, not all the bullsh*t we were subject to.
Remember, you don’t want to go back; you just want to reminisce, and that’s fun and healthy!
11. Drink Lots of Water
I know, I know, drink more water bleh bleh bleh. But it is so important.
Most of us are dehydrated af and need more water in our systems. Water flushes out toxins, and considering we are made of water, our bodies must work efficiently.
I understand only some people like water, and it can get boring, I get it.
Try flavored waters like Propel, or get your flavored IV packets to give you more hydration and taste.
Water is purifying; swap your juice or soda for water here and there!
12. Do Wellness Check-Ins
I’m sure you’re wondering what the eff a wellness check-in is.
Well, exactly what it sounds like! It’s reflection time! How often do you sit and ask yourself how you’re doing?
Probably never, right? Doing weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly check-ins is a great way to stay in touch with yourself and your wellness.
Simple check-ins include:
- Am I getting enough sleep?
- Am I eating enough?
- Do I drink enough water?
- How is my relationship/marriage?
- How are things at work?
These simple check-ins can help you pivot certain areas that aren’t serving you or working.
Whatever works for you, engage in your wellness check-ins.
13. Adjust Your Perspectives
Did you know that the Danish are considered the happiest people on the planet?
Yeah.
When reading The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know about Raising Confident Capable Kids, I learned why the Danes are statistically so much happier than us depressed and anxious-ass Americans.
One of the most significant values the Danes instill in their children is the skill and art of reframing.
Reframing is a valuable skill beyond parenting and can significantly enhance adult self-care routines.
It’s about shifting your perspective to view situations, challenges, or negative experiences through a more positive or constructive lens.
Instead of viewing a setback at work as a failure, you might reframe it as an opportunity for learning and growth.
This technique isn’t about ignoring difficulties but finding empowering ways to approach them.
The benefits of mastering the art of reframing are substantial; it can reduce stress, increase resilience, and a generally more optimistic outlook on life.
The process involves recognizing negative thoughts, challenging their validity, and seeking out positive aspects or lessons to be learned.
While it’s crucial to acknowledge that reframing isn’t about glossing over serious issues, it’s an invaluable tool for approaching life’s challenges more constructively and positively.
Our American culture prefers to look at the world with scarcity, glass half empty, complain, and demand someone else fill it up.
The Danes view the world as full of abundant opportunities, a glass half full, and are excited for the opportunity to fill it up.
14. Compliment more than complain
American culture thrives off negativity and negative events.
I remember when taking my Mass Media class in college, our professor told us that there would never be good news.
Why?
Because bad news is a racket, far more profitable and addictive.
We enjoy seeing bad behavior, criticizing it, and taking a stance. Bad news makes us feel angry and superior…not to mention we’ve become addicted to outrage.
I swear that’s all I saw on Facebook: outrage, anger, and more outrage…it’s no wonder Facebook makes us miserable!
But what do we do? We keep going back because we love the negativity.
Nine times out of ten, our culture will complain before complimenting. Especially once one person complains, others are more likely to follow suit; I like to call it, the Complain Train lol.
Once a person jumps on, it’s much easier for everyone else to hop on and complain, too!
Complaining operates at a shallow frequency and only exists to bring down the frequency of others, ie, misery loves company.
Whining and complaining are behaviors children like my 2-year-old operate on, not adults.
On Nextdoor.com, I can’t BELEIVE the amount of people who just go on there to bitch and complain about some service they received and how everyone should avoid them at all costs!
I can’t even pinpoint when I saw someone post about their gratitude for a service or product they received…and I know it’s not because good products and services don’t exist!
It’s simply that people are more naturally inclined to complain when something goes wrong than give praise and a compliment when something goes right.
For example, my husband and I received an obscene $4K quote from a local Auto Shop before they could pass our car for state inspection! $4 freaking K! We went to another shop for a second opinion who were honest and helpful; they passed our car’s inspection and gave it the proper care it needed, all for less than $800.
You know what we didn’t do? Rip the previous Auto Shop a new a**hole for trying to price gouge us. What did we do? We wrote a shining review for the garage that cared for us and urged people to go there before anywhere else.
Why? We feel better giving gratitude and thanks, operating on a higher frequency that fills our cup and others. We wouldn’t have felt better complaining about the other Auto shop, just consumed with our self-righteous anger.
You reap what you sow, ie you get what you give. If all you do is put out negative energy and complain, you choose to operate at a low and painful frequency, and that’s likely all you’ll get back: more reasons to complain.
It’s easy to be negative, have low morale, make excuses, complain, and place blame…anybody can do that.
What’s hard is having the courage to be like, you know what, where I am, right now, I’m going to do the best I can because that is an expression of who I am; I’ve got what it takes; I emit love and gratitude and receive love and gratitude!
15. Embrace the Growth Mindset
This is another value the Danes instill in their children: growth mindset vs fixed mindset.
If you can master this skill, you will be unstoppable.
Nothing will keep you down because you are in the mindset of growth. Our culture is saturated with fixed mindsets. Let’s elaborate more:
Fixed Mindset:
- A fixed mindset is the belief that abilities, intelligence, and talents are static traits that cannot be significantly developed.
- People with a fixed mindset often believe success results from inherent talent rather than hard work or development.
- They may avoid challenges, fearing failure or believing that needing to put in effort indicates a lack of natural ability.
- Failure or criticism is often seen as a direct reflection of their worth, leading to a reluctance to try new things or take risks.
- Needing to appear “right”.
Growth Mindset:
- A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication, hard work, and perseverance.
- People with a growth mindset see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. They are more resilient in the face of setbacks because they view failure as a part of the learning process.
- They embrace effort as a path to mastery and understand that skills can be honed over time.
- Feedback and constructive criticism are seen as valuable tools for improvement.
- Not afraid to be wrong or mess up and learns from mistakes.
Now that you see the difference, I’m sure you can see how fixed-minded our cultural values are.
The need to appear perfect, right, enlightened, or in the know instead of humbling themselves and being okay with the constant pursuit of personal development and the nitty gritty realities all of that implies.
I felt I unlocked the cheat code to life once I realized it was okay that I’m not always right; there is room to learn; it’s okay my skills aren’t where they need to be; I can continue to develop them; it’s okay to fail; I’ll learn from those mistakes; it’s okay to receive constructive criticism, they will make me better and stronger, it’s okay!
16. A Light Skincare Routine
Notice how I emphasize “light”.
I understand not everyone is a skincare junkie like me; however, I believe a basic and simple skincare routine can help you glow and fuel your self-worth.
Our skin is our biggest organ, and we want to love and nurture it.
Now in my 30’s, my skincare routine is relatively simple (My skin type: Combination, sensitive, acne prone):
- Remove Sunscreen With Ponds Cold Creme.
- Wash face with Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser.
- Occasionally used a PanOxyl Benzoyl Peroxide Cleanser for acne
- Cerave Hydrating Toner.
- Retin-A (Only if not pregnant, planning to become pregnant or nursing.)
- Cetaphil Moisturizer.
- Cetaphil redness Relief Cream.
- Sunscreen for Day.
- Vitamin E Oil for Night.
With this easy skincare routine, my pores are tight af, I no longer break out, my fine lines are diminishing, and my skin has never looked or felt better.
You don’t need all the fancy and expensive skincare products; in fact, just simplify it with the basics.
Watching your skin begin to glow, you will feel radiant inside and out!
17. Take Your Vitamins
Even if they’re the damn Flinstone Vitamins, take them!
Most of us don’t get nearly the nutrients we need for day-to-day health.
It’s not entirely our fault considering the industrialization of our foods ended up sucking the nutrients and soul out of them and filling them with more sugar and salt.
Therefore, even when we try to eat well, those foods lack the necessary vitamins and minerals.
Try your best to take the following Vitamins and minerals:
- Krill Oil for Omega 3s
- Vitamin K
- Vitamin D
- Vitamin C
- Choline
- Magnesium
- Zinc
- MSM
- Myo-Inositol
- Cod Liver Oil
- Lysine
Now, this is just a blueprint.
I mainly made this list of what most of us need to improve and what I currently take. I would suggest you get blood testing done to see if you lack vitamins and minerals.
If that’s too expensive, start slowly with this list; don’t take them all simultaneously.
Start with one for a few days to a week to see how you feel; if all is well, you can introduce another vitamin.
This practice will help you keep an eye on what vitamins work with you or which ones don’t serve you well.
18. Get in Nature
Modern society has done such a good job of dominating nature we forget we are a part of nature.
Nature is incredibly healing, and practices such as grounding have been found to reduce bodily inflammation, pain, and stress and improve circulation, heart health, sleep, and vitality!
This is why when you are angry, scared, overwhelmed, stressed, depressed, or just feeling sh*tty, a quick walk in nature, taking off your shoes and planting them on the grass, and resting can make you feel better fast!
You’ll be shocked.
This is why many specialists suggest taking your baby or toddler outside if they’re inconsolable; being outside is so damn refreshing!
Whenever I take my daughter out for a walk in the woods near our house and spend sufficient time outside, her temperament is much more mellow and cooperative….nature balanced her out!
Let us not forget nature was here long before us; we are a child of nature; it makes sense we need to be close to it to feel good, healthy, and well.
Whether it’s in your backyard or a nearby park, get grounding, girl!
19. Learn Your Saboteurs
Ooohhh, this is a good one.
As I mentioned earlier, as a result of needing to survive our childhood traumas, we develop learned behaviors or saboteurs that served us as children but sabotaged us as adults.
These saboteurs are frequently rooted in learned behaviors from childhood and can manifest in various ways, influencing how we perceive and interact with the world.
Saboteurs often develop coping mechanisms in response to childhood experiences.
For instance, a child who receives praise primarily for achievements might develop a “perfectionist” saboteur, believing they are only worthy when things are done flawlessly.
If a child grows up in an environment where showing vulnerability is discouraged, they might develop an “avoider” saboteur, leading them to shy away from difficult emotions or conversations.
Negative or critical feedback during childhood can lead to the development of a “hyper-critical” saboteur, causing individuals to be overly critical of themselves and others.
Common Saboteurs:
The Judge: Constantly judges oneself and others, often leading to feelings of dissatisfaction and alienation.
The Victim: Believes they are perpetually at the mercy of circumstances, leading to passivity and powerlessness.
The Perfectionist: Demands perfection, leading to procrastination, stress, and burnout.
The Avoider: Avoids conflict or challenging situations, potentially leading to missed opportunities and unresolved issues.
The Pleaser: Seeks to please others at the expense of their own needs, leading to resentment and loss of self-identity.
These are just a few of the saboteurs; you can learn your saboteurs by taking this Saboteur assessment.
I’ll share mine; I learned my biggest saboteurs were Hyper-perfectionists, Hyper-Vigilant, Stickler, and people pleasers.
This makes sense, considering the hypercompetitive California culture I was raised in.
Knowing my saboteurs, I’ve been better able to identify those behaviors as they come up and detour, leading me to my next point…
20. Lean Into Your Sage
The “Judge” and the “Sage” represent two contrasting internal voices or perspectives influencing our thoughts, emotions, and actions.
These concepts are often used in positive psychology and personal development to help individuals understand and manage their inner dialogue.
The Judge is a critical inner voice that often focuses on the negative.
It judges ourselves, others, and our circumstances, usually leading to feelings of dissatisfaction, fear, or inadequacy.
It operates from a place of fear and limitation, often rooted in past experiences and learned behaviors.
The Judge tends to see things in black and white and is quick to point out faults and mistakes.
This voice can be harsh and unforgiving, leading to a cycle of negative self-talk and limiting beliefs.
The Sage represents the wise, positive, and empowering inner voice. It operates from a place of compassion, wisdom, and possibility.
The Sage sees challenges as opportunities for growth and learning.
It focuses on solutions rather than problems and seeks to find the silver lining in difficult situations.
This voice encourages acceptance, understanding, and empathy towards ourselves and others.
Leaning into your Sage means listening to and amplifying the voice supporting your well-being, growth, and happiness.
It involves consciously shifting from self-criticism and fear-based thinking towards a more empowering and optimistic internal dialogue.
Doing so allows you to navigate life’s challenges with greater resilience, wisdom, and positivity.
21. Treat Yourself
I know we see this one a lot, but it’s true! I don’t mean you must drop 500 dollars on spa treatment or getting your hair done.
I mean doing things that genuinely make you feel good.
This can be as simple as grabbing a Dunkin Iced Latte before work, buying that movie you’ve been loving, creating a masterpiece with the adult coloring book you’ve got, taking a long AF shower while you sing to your whole playlist, or grabbing a piece of pie from the cafe on your way home from work.
Treating yourself does not need to be a huge expenditure or expensive and time-consuming.
Since being alcohol-free, I’m a huge lover of iced coffees; I treat myself to them multiple times a week and don’t feel guilty.
I don’t care how it can “add up,” or it’s cheaper to make coffee at home; I work hard and have heavy days, treating myself to a yummy iced coffee a few days a week is more than worth it.
The old stickler in me used to say:
“ Nope, no iced coffee for you! Do you know how much money you spend on iced coffee a year? Just make your mediocre coffee at home and like it!”
How the eff is that self care or treating myself?
Treat yourself guilt-free if it’s something you enjoy and doesn’t sabotage you! You deserve it.
22. Give Yourself More Grace
Do you feel this world we live in has a ton of grace? I wouldn’t say so.
Considering we live in a world where a stupid joke tweet you made ten years ago can resurface and take down the life you built in a single blow shows how little grace our culture has.
If we don’t have grace for others, we def don’t give grace to ourselves.
It’s no wonder we have learned fixed mindsets of needing to be perfect and never slipping up or saying the wrong thing; we get crucified!
Our culture is basically saying “I don’t care if you’ve changed, grown, or don’t believe in those words you said 10 years ago. You said them and that’s reason to smite you with no mercy!”
What does this communicate?
That people don’t change and everything they’ve done since or the person they’ve grown into doesn’t matter…just the single slip up does.
That people are either good or bad and nothing you can do or say will change that.
This is the ultimate fixed mindset that is cut throat, callous and unforgiving.
Adopting the growth mindset comes with compassion and grace.
We have got to give ourselves and, therefore, others more grace. We aren’t perfect and never will be.
We will make mistakes, say the wrong thing, we will f*ck up. That’s what Buddha called life’s first arrow; it’s inevitable.
However, it’s our choice whether we want to keep berating and beating ourselves up over it or not.
If we do, we are choosing suffering, not compassion.
Remember to think of that little child in you. When you feel you mess up, parent yourself how you would parent your child.
You wouldn’t berate, belittle, and ostracize them. You would fuel them with unconditional love, compassion, understanding, and grace.
You’ll be surprised; the more grace you give yourself, the better you feel, and the easier and more natural it is to give grace to others.
23. Get Enough Sleep
Especially if you can help it, girl! I’m not demanding mamas of 4 under 4 get their necessary 8 hours every single night.
Sh*t happens, and we are trying our best. However, it’s so important to prioritize sleep.
Sleep allows our bodies to recover and grow. This is why babies need so much sleep.
They are developing rapidly, and their bodies desperately need the rest to grow, develop, and function at a human level.
If you can help it, meaning you aren’t in the thick of postpartum (again, this is where you need to give yourself grace; we can’t ALWAYS get it right), please prioritize your sleep.
As any parent knows, your entire experience differs when you get enough sleep.
You need sleep, don’t take it for granted, and please prioritize it for self-care.
24. Challenge Yourself
“Easy times are the enemy, they put us to sleep. Adversity is our friend, it wakes us up.” – The Dalai Lama XIV
We live in a culture that values the easy way above all.
Have as much fun as possible, consume as much as possible, and try to make it as easy as possible.
If that were enough for humans, this age of abundance wouldn’t make us as miserable and unhealthy as it has.
Would you say those people in the movie WALLE who never had to work, did whatever they wanted as long as they wanted while being waited on hand and foot 24/7 while their bones atrophy as they wasted away were happy? No.
They were constantly stimulated and kept in a state of comfortable consumption.
They weren’t enjoying or participating in life; they were consuming it.
Therefore, they spent nearly 800 years on their cruise ship just getting obese and void of progress; they devolved.
Humans need challenges to overcome; our biggest differentiator is our natural inclination to problem-solving.
We enjoy doing hard things and solving complex problems.
Unfortunately, our culture has taught us that if something is hard to ditch it; life should always be easy, and you must always be happy (which is impossible because happiness isn’t a state of being but a fleeting emotion.)
However, this is exactly what we discussed earlier regarding having a fixed mindset.
Fixed mindsets avoid challenges out of fear of failure or being too hard.
You will not garner the self-esteem you need by cruising through what’s easy and shying away from what’s hard.
Challenging yourself and overcoming adversity is a surefire way to boost your self-esteem in a way no makeover can.
This can be as simple as learning a new skill you’ve been too scared to try or creating something you’ve always wanted. Nothing worth having comes easy, I promise.
If you want a life that’s worth living, challenge yourself. Most people aren’t happy or fulfilled because most people want it easy.
Being comfortable is the enemy of growth and progress.
It leaves us in a state of comfortable cowardice that keeps us stagnant and shying away from opportunities that can propel us toward a future we’ve always dreamed of.
Challenge yourself, put yourself out there, get uncomfortable, learn a new skill, take on a half marathon, create a painting, compliment a stranger, do anything you don’t know how to do, and challenge yourself.
The amount of love and self-esteem you will develop for yourself in that journey will be priceless.
25. Nurturing a Relationship with God
I can feel the eyes rolling with this one because I used to be that girl lol
I’m sorry dude, but I promised God many years ago if they could give me the strength and courage I needed to overcome my adversities and grow, I’d give God all the freaking credit. This is that credit!
I realized while learning the growth mindset that my atheism was the antithesis of growth.
As a self-proclaimed atheist, I chose the mindset that closed me off to curiosity, humbleness and personal development, not embrace it.
There is a scene in And Just Like That, where Carrie is opening up to Miranda more about her believing Big who just passed away was still with her in a more spiritual sense.
Miranda, being the hyper-rational lawyer and insecure atheist was super triggered by how Carrie was feeling, saying: “I thought we were on the same page about this?” (regarding atheism.)
Just like me, Miranda’s atheist mindset was so fragile, she couldn’t handle the fact that her friend (or anyone else for that matter) could and will feel differently.
If Miranda felt firm, strong and convicted in her beliefs, she would pay no mind to the fact her best friend is opening up spiritually.
Instead of leading with strong compassion and empathy for her friend who just lost her husband, she selfishly made it about her and how her atheist beliefs are being threatened by her friend’s curiosity about what happens to us after death.
Just like Miranda, my atheism was my insecure, know-it-all all fixed mindset, manifesting in the most profound way possible.
My atheism was a state of comfort, judgment, criticism, pain, insecurity, control and the need to appear right; i.e., if I took the place of God, I didn’t need God.
Then it hit me: all of this was the manifestation of my saboteurs and fixed mindset.
As a past atheist with a fixed mindset and overtly critical and judgmental reflexes, I realized this stupid attitude toward myself and others was not working.
I was miserable, hurt, depressed, sick, isolated, like every bad feeling you can think of.
I lived most of my life without God and know from experience what that is like.
Since growing my relationship with Jesus and God, my life has truly f*cking transformed in a way I couldn’t even fathom as an insecure and judgmental atheist.
Through the power of prayer, intention, gratitude, and action, I have, honest to God, never been more fulfilled, productive, and happy in my life.
There is a reason why people who love God are happier: It’s good for us.
I’m not a traditional Christian. I’ve only been to church a handful of times as a kid and have never read the Bible…although for perspective, wisdom and embracing the growth mindset, I will get to it at some point.
I needed something that bridged the gap of modern society and science with God and spirituality.
Then I found Urantia.
I get much of my love and wisdom from God and the universe from Urantia.
My concept of the universe and how it works, I believe, is far more loving, compassionate, intelligent and wondrous than what freaking humans can conceive!
With humans being flawed and infantile in our spiritual development relative to the universe, religion and the idea of God is flawed.
For those who aren’t religious or spiritual, this isn’t an experience, value, concept, or idea that happens overnight.
Like any relationship, it took years to develop that love and trust I needed; I just needed to be open and surrender.
This is part of connecting with our inner child; your inner child is the spirit of God; it is the purest form of who you are.
Connect with that light in you and humble yourself to the universe; we are but a child of it.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience; it is our choice to let God’s love into our lives or not.
I don’t believe God smites you; I don’t believe you will be sentenced to an eternity of pain and suffering simply because of who you love; that sounds like something more spiritually infantile humans would come up with.
As Jesus said in Urantia: “But I well know that the Father in heaven loves his children, and therefore do I know that, no matter what unwise acts your earthly fathers may commit, the Father in heaven stands ready to receive you into the loving embrace of his spirit arms.”
There is no way God loves you less than humans.
Humans are the flawed ones who put contingencies on your existence, how you should live, and whether or not you deserve love or heaven, not God.
I know how big of a leap it is to go from being a die-hard atheist to being open to something new, it means acknowledging you aren’t all knowing, and that takes character and a humble nature.
This was the most significant shift in my personal development journey.
If I embrace the growth mindset, that means humbling myself and admitting, there’s a lot I don’t know, nor do I have all the answers, and that’s okay.
“The only true wisdom is in knowing, that you know nothing.” -Socrates
Just starting with an agnostic attitude is incredibly freeing.
You don’t need to start going to church every day, doing crazy rituals, or act against your values or conscience.
Simply be open to the idea that there is far more to life, the universe and our role in it than we know is enough, and that’s something to be hopeful and excited about!
“The kingdom of God is within man. Not one man or a group of men but in all men. IN YOU, you the people, have the power. The power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.” – Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator.
Ideas for Self Care
I know this wasn’t the most tradtional ideas for self care posts!
However, I feel these self care practices have done way more for me in the long run than a million mani pedis.
When you embrace the self care work, you’ll be amazed how good you feel with just being you.
Take time for you, self care is for everyone. Make sure you look out for yourself and set self-care reminders for self-care rituals like journaling.
Taking the time for you is the greatest acts of self care you can do. Whether you want to get after Sunday self care or first thing in the morning on a Monday, do what works for you.
Good luck!