Porn addiction is a very real problem, with most porn addicts being men.
Men, often don’t know they’re porn addicts.
As the only vice on the planet that is not only free but available in abundance, whenever you want, as much as you want, whatever type you like, in the privacy of your own home, Porn has left a massive trail of destruction wherever it goes.
As more research emerges on Porn and its harmful effects on our brains, psyche, and sexual health, it is no wonder that men worldwide have unknowingly become addicted to Porn.
Once men realize what Porn has been doing to them, they ultimately ditch it for good and never look back.
In the book, Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and The Emerging Science on Addiction, recovered porn addicts share their stories.
Here are their experiences.
Sensory Overload
“I can relate to ‘wanting to watch ten videos all at once, streaming at the same time….’ It’s amazing to hear someone else say it.
It’s like this sensory overload or hoarding, or just over stuffing yourself with your favorite junk food.”
With the rise of online, high-speed internet, it is genuinely an arena of an abundance of pornographic material.
Becoming a porn addict is super easy.
You don’t have to wait. You can use your phone and watch whenever you want.
Similar to how an alcoholic keeps a beer on their nightstand or somewhere under their couch where they can get it when they need that hit.
High speed internet has an array of content to engorge in which is a breeding ground for addiction.
You will eat more at a buffet than when there is just a single sandwich on the table.
Therefore, they can’t just watch ONE video—Nay, nay.
They go down the pornhub rabbit hole until they can’t wait any longer.
An All-Day Affair
“Now, with high-speed, even smartphones, it has made me continuously watch more and more and at higher resolution.
It sometimes becomes a whole day affair looking for the perfect one to finish on.
It never ever satisfies. ‘Need more’ the brain always says…such a lie.”
Online access to high-speed FREE internet porn has become more accessible than ever.
There is little to no need to wait.
My husband can attest to this quote.
Like many addicts, he was constantly chasing that extremely short high that would feel good at the moment but never be enough.
This is so similar to those poor people on My 600LB Life.
No amount of Arby’s and Chickfila will ever be enough.
That’s why they consume nearly 14k calories daily and weigh as much as they do.
They get those highs from eating and try to escape from those lows by planning their next meal and eating some more.
It will never be enough.
Porn addiction needs to be recognized for what it is…a debilitating addiction.
When Sex Isn’t Stimulating Enough Anymore
“High speed porn changed everything.
I began masturbating more than once a day.
If I didn’t feel like masturbating but wanted to relieve stress or go to sleep, Porn helped me get aroused.
I found myself looking at Porn before sex with my wife because she just couldn’t do it for me anymore.
Delayed ejaculation was a huge problem: I could no longer orgasm from oral sex and sometimes had difficulty with orgasm in a vagina.”
If I had a dollar for every time I read on a forum where a distraught wife has a disappointing sex life with her husband because he would rather watch Porn than be intimate with her, this nasty inflation wouldn’t hurt me so much.
Also, I see many posts on how husbands are no longer attracted to their wives for x,y, or z reasons.
Like the guy in this quote, their wives didn’t “do it” for them anymore.
Porn digs deep into that primitive part of your man’s brain and registers Porn as valuable because of all the sexual novelty.
This brings extra excitement to the brain and creates massive urges for your man to seek Porn over you repeatedly.
Thus, a porn addict is born.
Sex with you and his fantasies just don’t cut it anymore when he can passively watch an infinite amount of other women having sex online in the kinkiest of ways.
When Porn Feels More Natural Than Sex
“Alien is the word I’d use to describe how it felt when I tried to have sex with real women.
It felt artificial and foreign to me.
It’s like I’ve gotten so conditioned to sitting in front of a screen, jerking it, that my mind considers that to be normal sex instead of real actual sex.”
Isn’t that a kicker?!
Porn has men’s brains believing Porn is real, and SEX is artificial.
It’s topsy turvy.
What is real and natural to a porn user is to be in the position of a voyeur, passively getting off to someone else doing the deed, not being an active participant in human sexuality and intimacy.
A porn addicts brain fundamentally rewires to change its reward circuitry to find Porn the most rewarding treat, even above sex with you.
The more they give in, the deeper those rewards get, and the further away they become from finding any rewards from human sex.
It, straight up, isn’t nearly as good anymore because Porn consumption remolded the brain after months or even years of usage to prefer it above real human intimacy and sex.
Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction
“After years of Porn, I was having trouble with erections.
It had been getting worse and worse for a couple of years.
I Needed more and more types of porn stimulation.
I was really worried, but the anxiety just pushed me deeper into more extreme Porn.
Now, the more I go without Porn, masturbation, fantasy, and orgasm, the more difficult it becomes NOT to get an erection.
No ED problems or weak ejaculations like I had just a few months ago!
I have healed.”
Porn is similar to any other vice and addiction.
Once a particular type or amount doesn’t get you high enough like it used to, you need more and more.
Instead of getting a medium soda, you get large.
Instead of just having one drink, you need three to feel the same buzz you did before.
You wind up just needing more and more to get the same high you initially got with less.
In Porn addicts, this leads to more extreme, fetish types of Porn that go beyond what is considered healthy sexuality.
For example, hardcore porn, Beastiality , RAPE PORN, Gang bang porn, etc., none of these even remotely portray natural, human, and healthy sexual interactions.
However they are needed by many men to simply get an erection.
When Regular Porn Isn’t Stimulating Enough
“I used transgender porn to get hard so I could finish with heterosexual Porn.
Without realizing, I was soon watching a lot of taboo and extreme Porn that I never would have considered a couple of years ago.
I couldn’t believe I let myself get to this point.
I just couldn’t stop myself.”
This reminds me of that episode of South Park when the internet goes out, and the whole country is flooding west to find internet like it was the damn gold rush, lol.
Including Randy, Sheila, Shelly, and Stan.
However, Randy is experiencing some withdrawals from not having his usual internet access.
He’s starting to get irritable and is desperate for his next hit.
They come up on an internet camp where it is rationed “lol,” so men created a tent where they DREW a stick figure having sex on paper, haha.
Randy, pissed, said,
“Oh come on, I can’t jerk off to this!”
He even says you get used to watching such perverted Porn; you can’t just go back to nudie mags.
As funny as that episode is, it showcases the severe issue of excess porn consumption is among many men like Randy.
When Men Are Too Ashamed to Seek Help
“Young guys won’t go to doctors talking about ED.
Porn-induced ED and porn addiction are our personal secrets.
We’re too anxious, ashamed, confused, and angry to create awareness of these issues.
We hide in the shadows because we individually don’t want to be seen to exist.
Therefore, we collectively aren’t thought to exist.”
That is similar to “did abuse happen if nobody reported it?”
Yes.
Just like if a tree falls and nobody is around to hear it, it still hit the ground, hard.
Porn addiction and porn-induced ED are real.
It is way more prevalent than we are led to believe BECAUSE men are too ashamed to seek help for it.
Men never go to a doctor unless they are dying; it’s like pulling teeth.
So odds are, most porn addicts with ED go undiagnosed ALL THE TIME.
It doesn’t mean they aren’t out there, though.
Men obtain so much pride and ego over their virility and sexual prowess.
It is a huge blow to admit they have ED because of their gluttonous porn consumption.
They sure aren’t telling their friends, so why would they tell their doctors?
Encouraging men to seek help if they are experiencing these symptoms with porn is crucial.
When Porn Addiction is Harder to Kick than Alcoholism
“I’ve battled a few addictions in my life, from nicotine to alcohol and other substances.
I’ve overcome all of them, and this was by far the most difficult.
Urges, crazy thoughts, sleeplessness, feelings of hopelessness, despair, worthlessness, and many more negative things were all part of what I went through with this porn thing.
It’s a wicked awful thing that I will never have to deal with ever again in my life–ever!”
According to Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships, in MRI screenings of the brain, the same dopamin spike occurs in men ejaculting to porn to that of a man shooting up heroine.
Yes, it’s THAT strong of a dopamine spike in your man’s brain.
Like any addict, sobriety comes with withdrawals.
Sometimes, extremely painful.
Similar to how heroin addicts get extremely physically ill during their withdrawals.
Does this mean that heroin is good for them and they need it to feel better?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
The withdrawals are a symptom of how badly Porn consumption f*cked with their psyche, emotions, and overall well-being.
There will be suffering after quitting any addiction.
However, the pain is only temporary.
Their bodies need time to comback to equilibrium.
Give in; they will get a nice hit for a few seconds and be back where they started.
When Sessions Become an All-Day Affair
“Most days, I would wank so much that by the end of the day when I orgasmed, nothing would even come out.
ED, my first time, sent me into a porn spiral. I would literally wake up, roll over and masturbate, masturbate all day, then at night masturbate and go to sleep.
Six times a day or more, no joke.
Safe to say, my life was an absolute mess, all the bad effects of porn x 10.
I knew that Porn and masturbation were affecting me, but I was in denial.
Masturbation is good for you, right?
You can’t be addicted to Porn.”
Too much of anything isn’t good for us.
Billion-Dollar Porn industries LOVE that your man thinks not only is porn harmless but good for them!
I’m sure the cigarette companies loved it when everyone believed smoking was good for them.
These porn companies get massive payouts from the thousands of ads on their platforms.
This is what keeps porn free.
When men visit multiple times a day, all day, every day, porn corporations are raking it in through ad revenue at the expense of the men who are addicted to it, and they don’t even know!
It is truly criminal.
They disclaimed all other vices to warn users of the potential harmful effects.
Cigarettes: Use with caution, can cause lung cancer, leukoplakia, and lung disease.
Alcohol: Use with caution, do not use while pregnant or breastfeeding. It is known to cause harmful congenital disabilities, heart disease, and other cancers and kills brain cells.
Sodium: Use with caution. It can cause high cholesterol, blood clots, high blood pressure, and obesity.
Refined Sugar: Use with caution. It can cause cavities, type two diabetes, disrupt cell turnover rate, and cause obesity.
Porn: “Are you 18? Even if you’re not, just click yes; no biggie! Come on in! No need to look too hard into it! It’s natural and normal! It feels good, remember? It’s also free! Hooray Yay porn!”
When Porn Becomes a Priority
“During the heights of my porn addiction, I never looked forward to much of anything.
I dreaded going to work, and never saw socializing with friends and family as all that great, especially in comparison to my porn rituals, which gave me more pleasure and stimulation than anything else.
With the addiction gone, little things make me REALLY happy.
I find myself often laughing, smiling for no reason, and just being in good spirits all around.”
Porn addicts have a reduced amount of grey matter in the brain, according to Your Brain on Porn.
That means the rewards for other things in life that are supposed to please you like:
- A Promotion at work
- An exciting football game
- Dinner with friends
- A delicious home-cooked meal
- Sex with a real person
None of those feel NEARLY as good as a porn session to a porn addict.
All they are thinking about is getting back to their computer or smartphone ASAP.
It dulls the excitement and pleasure from other aspects of life and gives the porn consumption a light display of rewards in the brain.
Porn will always be better than anything else life has to offer.
Like many addicts, they want that next hit to make them feel good. Nothing else matters.
I have even seen more women posting about how their husbands watched Porn in the delivery room bathroom while giving birth or after.
All you can envision is how those men counted down the seconds until their kid was born so they could rush into the bathroom to get their rocks off while their wives get their 2nd-degree tears stitched up after delivering their child.
When Porn Keeps You Depressed
“I thought I was a pessimist, but really, I was just an addict.”
It is like that Sheryl Crow song:
“If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad. If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?”
Is Your Man a Porn Addict?
Many, if not most men, who use porn are addicted and don’t even know it, in fact, they are in the upmost denial that porn is even bad for you.
According to the studies found in Your Brain on Porn, even moderate users exemplify the symptoms the addiction, including reduced grey matter in the brain.
Meaning, all of their other pleasure centers they receive feel good dopamine hits from, are dulled down.
They don’t even know how much better everything will feel when they aren’t constantly in a dopamine roller coaster of highs and lows.
For one, society and our very hedonistic culture have led us to believe that Porn is harmless and good for us!
Sort of like they used to do back in the day when doctors shared with us their favorite cigarette brand to smoke.
I don’t think many modern doctors believe Porn is necessarily good for us; however, they generally don’t have an opinion.
Many doctors, exspecially male, like one man in Your Brain on Porn experienced when inquiring about his ED, are more than happy to just prescribe Viagra to men with sexual troubles because, well, thats how they make money🤷🏻♀️
Their job isn’t to find the root of the problem, just treat symptoms.
No amount of Viagra will help a struggling porn addict become a healthy lover.
The problem isn’t within his penis, but his brain.
Luckily, the man inquiring declined taking Viagra and just quit his porn habits and alas!
His erections came back! Huzzah!
Luckily, for over 15 years, curious and dedicated scientists have been conducting studies on the effects of Porn due to the rising health issues that have been accompanied by the rise of internet Porn.
Porn Addiction Symptoms
The signs of a porn addict are actually pretty obvious once you recognize these symptoms.
That way you can see how bad your husbands addiction really is.
- You can’t get an erection without Porn
- You can’t masturbate without Porn
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Social Anxiety
- Erectile Dysfunction
- Uninterested in sex
- Prefers Porn over sex
- Can’t have sex with you without Porn on
- Mental Fog
- Lethargy
- Denial
- Lack of Motivation
- Inability to Focus
- Increased Lonliness
- Hair loss
- Muscle mass loss
- No morning wood
- Sexual entitlement
- Higher sexist attitudes
- Sexual Narcisism Characteristics
- Dissatisfaction with their romantic relationships
I could go on, but that is just a handful for today.
What to Do About Porn Addiction?
To stop porn addiction, users need to be fully aware of the negative and potentially harmful effects porn has on the brain, body, and spirit.
This has NOTHING to do with religion, being a prude, or not being sexually progressive.
Men as young as 24 having Porn-induced Erectile Dysfunction is NOT sexually progressive.
It is sexual regression.
How to stop a porn addiction?
It is simply about learning the scientific evidence on how it can be harmful and the ability to make educated decisions on your usage.
That way, more men and women can make educated choices on their porn habits, just like any other vices we consume.
Some people are more prone to addiction than others.
That is why people with a history of alcoholism in their family are probably best to steer clear of booze.
They are more likely to develop an addiction.
Knowing the harmful effects of booze enables people to make educated choices.
Porn corporations and mainstream hedonistic culture wants you to believe all is well and there is nothing to see here.
Ultimately leading mostly men, to walk into a lion’s den without understanding they are about to get lit up by that lion.
It simply isn’t a fair fight.
What Should Be Done?
More Friction in the Consumption Process
After learning all the scientific reasons Porn is debilitating and experiencing it with my husband, I knew other women were also struggling.
The husband porn addiction problem is growing at a rapid pace.
Porn needs to have legal disclaimers on its platforms, just like any other vice, showcasing the harmful effects that could happen with consumption.
Also, needing an ID to showcase you are, in fact, 18+, like you would need at a strip club.
Then, they need to pay for it.
Porn should not be free and needs to be paid for like cigarettes or alcohol.
No more ad revenue on porn sites = no more free porn.
With it being so easily accessible and free, it’s a breeding ground for addiction (unfortunately, like social media, but that’s a story for another day).
This isn’t about banning it.
I don’t think banning porn is the correct answer.
Given the egregious amounts of human/sex trafficking within Porn currently as it’s legal, the crime ring will only increase with Porn being banned.
Adding reasonable measures to create more friction in the porn consumption process such as:
- Requiring ID that proves you are 18+
- Agree to a disclaimer that showcases the harmful effects of consumption
- Pay up
- Consume
Like you have to do at any bar or liquor store.
Without any vetting measures, Porn is currently in its Wild West phase.
There is a ton of crime, corruption, predators, addiction and all-out free-for-all.
Time to reel it in.
Resources
If you or your partner is struggling with porn consumption, here are some resources and courses to help you learn and heal:
- Your Brain on Porn
- Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships
- A Brand New You: The Ultimate Guide For Quitting Porn and Self Transformation
- Fight the New Drug
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