This post reviews the steps to finding a husband and how not to end up the forever girlfriend if you want marriage.
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“You may not be “the one” but are the “right now” which to the marriage averse guy, is total heaven.”
There is an interesting cultural topic called “Forever Girlfriend” after the TikTok drama went ablaze over a viral relationship video.
A 28-year-old woman who has been in an 8-year relationship with her boyfriend explained that her boyfriend bought a house that she is paying rent on and renovating.
This had everyone up in arms on both sides, with dudes claiming, “Why should he marry her to split ownership of the house just to have it given to her in the divorce?” or women saying this is the perfect example of “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”
It seems over the generations, a lot of bitterness and resentment for the other sex has brewed, with both sides blaming the other.
However, we are both to blame. Both men and women have adopted super toxic habits regarding relationships and expectations. It seems people only care about what they get or lose from a relationship, not what they can give, especially men.
This leaves people in a state of idle bitterness, entitlement, and resentment while waiting for others to change.
If you don’t want to get married, you don’t have to, but something has to give if you do want marriage.
If you want marriage and are interested in finding a husband, you aren’t wrong, but that means you will have to date differently because there are a f*ck ton of dudes out there who are bitter toward marriage and have no intention of ever marrying you but are happy to keep you around for funsies until someone “better” comes along.
That way, they can dump you without consequence at the drop of a hat.
There is nothing wrong with a man not wanting to get married, but a dude who is with you with no intention of marrying you is just stringing you along; they want all the benefits but none of the risk.
This man is not worthy of being a husband, let alone a committed partner worth sharing your life with.
These men would be happier just casually f*cking. Men, be upfront about your ambivalence and zero intention of marrying from the beginning so you can give her the chance to leave.
Most of them won’t, though, because THEY KNOW another dude would wife her up.
Ladies, let him know your intentions of dating for marriage so you can give him the chance to leave early on (also, don’t jump in bed with him either).
This is just one way we can all do better….BEING HONEST AND UP FRONT.
And at the end of the day, why waste your time with someone who couldn’t decide if you were the one? Finding a husband means dating totally differently.
Here is how to not become the “Forever Girlfriend” in your relationship and to find husbands.
This post reviews the steps to finding a husband and how not to be the forever girlfriend if you want marriage.
how to get husband
If you want to find a husband and avoid being the “Forever Girlfriend,” you must remember a few simple things. Sticking around only communicates your unwillingness to get married. If that’s not the goal, it’s time to make some moves in finding a husband.
1. Know Your Worth
Narcissists prey on the insecure because they know she won’t put up a fight, set up boundaries and expectations, and are content being doormats.
They can easily use insecure people to feed on, inflate their egos, and serve their wants without giving anything because they know insecure people are too scared to stick up for themselves.
When you don’t know your worth, you risk being used.
“You dont have to lie to a woman, because if she loves you enough, she’ll lie to herself.”
If you want marriage, you have to speak up. You cannot wait for a man to change(because you can’t change people), especially if you want to find a husband.
You don’t want to waste your time with a man who has no intention of committing to you. I know you might be scared that you won’t get the answer you want from this guy, but better now than seven years down the line!
You must be honest and upfront about what you seek in a relationship.
I promise you, the marriage-averse dude will start burning, cringing, and smoking like a vampire sprinkled with Holy Water when you bring up your goal of marriage.
If a man tells you he’s not interested in marriage, BELIEVE HIM.
You are worth finding a man who commits to you, and he has no business wasting your time when he can just get his needs met casually or through p*rn since that’s all they really want: easier access to sex 🤷🏻♀️
Don’t believe me? Say you want to take sex off the table to reinvigorate your relationship and reconnect on a deeper, emotional, and soul level for a month and see how quickly he runs.
Men who want marriage and an authentic relationship are happy to shelve sex (for a finite time) to prioritize connecting with you before getting sexually intimate or reintroducing sex.
If you want to know how to find a good husband, know your worth first and foremost!
Related Reading: 10 Best Questions to Ask When Dating for Marriage
2. Don’t have sex
We’ve been taught, being promiscuous as women gives us power, it doesn’t, it gives it away and opens the door to you being used and discarded.
A man can get rid of you after he gets sex, but you can’t take back the sex you gifted him.
So he gets all the benefit, the benefit of using your body for his orgasm and once it’s done you can’t take it back.
Every man you sleep with, keeps the sex you gave him and takes a piece of your love capacity and spirit with him.
Because girl, I KNOW this guy isn’t giving you mind blowing sex anyway.
As I mentioned earlier, a dude who is courting for commitment and marriage will have no qualms waiting for sexual intimacy with you. In fact, he likely suggested it!
My husband and I didn’t have sex for at least 5-6 weeks before getting intimate.
This gave us time to get to know each other as people before sex partners. Sex hormones can greatly eff up your ability to grow and connect on a deeper level that isn’t just physical.
Sex is the fruit of a healthy and loving relationship, not the fuel of one.
What fruit is there to bear if you don’t know each other? It is just pure physical pleasure (mainly for him), but there is no knowing of one another or true intimacy.
Here’s the thing: looking for a husband means finding men who are husband material.
Men who are too eager to jump in bed with you, make you feel pressured, or feel guilty about not having sex aren’t husband material.
My husband worked hard to make me feel safe and loved enough to share my body with him because he wasn’t entitled to my body, but he understood the gift of intimacy with me was something he needed to earn.
Men who have no interest in marriage but want all the benefits, including easier access to sex, only care about what they can get from you, not what they can contribute to the union.
So ladies, when looking for a husband, please do not have sex.
You don’t need to wait until marriage if that isn’t your jive, but do not share your body with a man who you wouldn’t want fathering your children or see leaving you/asking you to get an abortion once you get a plus sign on your pregnancy test.
For the love of God, ladies, please protect your body from men who don’t deserve that gift while dating!
3. don’t waste your time
Especially if you want children and marriage.
Seriously, unless you don’t want to get married, you need to set a time limit for how long you’re willing to spend in this relationship without an engagement.
If you’re looking for a husband to marry, you cannot waste your precious time, especially if you want at least one child.
While looking for a husband, let’s say you had the marriage convo, and he claims it’s one of his goals, too; keep a number in mind for the maximum amount of time you’re willing to wait for him to commit and propose.
Depending on your age, circumstances, values, and lifestyle, this can range from 3 months to 3 years. Whatever you feel is right.
The younger you are, the more time you have, BUT you don’t have forever, so keep it realistic.
If you’re older and want to have kids, the time you are willing to just “date” will likely need to be much shorter.
So, set a timeline you feel comfortable with so there are no surprises, or you are being strung along for years.
My husband proposed to me a little over two years of dating, but it also didn’t surprise me because we discussed it much. I met him when I was 24 and was married by 27.
Don’t waste your time wondering how to find a good man to marry.
This is a traditional healthy timeline because men ALREADY KNOW, which brings me to my next point.
4. he already knows
It seems relationships last around 1-3 years before marriage because most men know within the first year that they want to commit! Yes, ma’am.
I talked to my husband and a few of his married friends. Women looking for husbands: Dudes know FAST if you’re “the one.” No joke. He will not need YEARS to figure out if you’re the one.
Men are very simple creatures.
If he doesn’t know, you aren’t the one, and he just hasn’t realized it yet but is happy and comfortable with all the sex, food, income, and domestic comforts you provide him to ponder it further.
He will have no incentive to really consider if you’re right for him because all his needs are met anyway. So you may not be “the one” but are the “right now,” which is heaven to the marriage-averse or flaky guy.
My husband said most men should take six months, max a year, to decide whether they want to commit to this woman seriously. I remember my husband wanting me to move in only three months in rent free!
My husband said our relationship was different, and he knew FAST. He was trying not to come off too eager in those early days.
Ladies, trust me, as someone who dated dudes who had no intention of committing to me, and knowing how my relationship panned out with my husband, it was a night and day difference.
My husband’s enthusiasm for me when we were dating was unlike any dude before; he was excited about me!
Dudes before made me feel like I was lucky to be with them; I felt constantly overlooked, insecure, unappreciated, replaceable and well…used.
They had little enthusiasm about me, and everything felt surface-level and robotic. I could tell they didn’t want to let me in, and the relationships just stagnated.
No wonder they got bored. This will happen with dudes who don’t want to commit. Commitment requires growth and planning for the future, the opposite of boredom and complacency.
He can’t have his cake and eat it; he will eventually get bored because a long-term relationship needs sacrifice, vulnerability, and commitment to be fulfilling.
Nobody will know true love and intimacy with one foot out the door at all times.
Do yourself a favor and cut this guy loose.
Related Reading: 30+ Super Cute First Date Ideas You’ll Both Love
5. be ready to walk away
I know this seems so scary and wrong, but I PROMISE YOU, there are men out there who want a committed and loving companion with you and are willing to marry you.
If you want to find a husband, you must be willing to walk.
You deserve more than a man who constantly has one foot out the door while waiting for his next meal ticket to come along.
Your inner child will know and speak up when this relationship no longer feels right. I promise, ladies when you are with a man eager to commit to you, it’s obvious.
Men are the true romantics, and the ones who want marriage and a family to love, protect, and grow are out there waiting for you while you’re spending your best years on a dude who’s happy the way things are.
This stems from knowing your worth; you have the power and be ready to walk away if necessary!
If you’re asking yourself: how do I get a husband? Knowing when to walk away is key.
6. avoid out of touch men
So many dudes who follow “alpha bros” like Steven Crowder, Andrew Tate or Dan Bulzarian, who are MGTOW types, are extremely out of touch, selfish, wounded, and narcissistic.
These men view only themselves as the prize and think they deserve worship for any relationship they enter; the women are there to serve him, and that it.
There are so many men out there who believe they are God’s gift to Earth and aren’t willing to give an INCH to a woman.
This guy is incredibly insecure and scared of true intimacy and women in general.
These guys desperately want and need the genuine love of a woman more than anyone, which is sad.
These guys probably never experienced a positive female relationship, not even with their mom.
They are really wounded to the point where they give up on finding and working on any healthy relationship with a woman, so they use them to avoid getting hurt.
They resort to MGTOW life, where they resort to using women as vehicles for their pleasure through sex, shallow dating, and overall funsies.
Many of them have removed the humanity from women because they are so deeply wounded, and there is no changing this man.
Dudes who have the attitude of not wanting to commit to marriage out of fear of “no-fault divorce” and “losing everything” through a potential divorce, don’t waste your time with these guys.
If they have this general attitude, it has nothing to do with marriage, and they have a deep-rooted insecurity that they aren’t good enough to do their part to keep a marriage healthy, happy, and prosperous.
They are already in the mindset that a woman is going to manipulate and rob them regardless of how they operate in the marriage.
I have never met a genuinely happy, fulfilled, healthy, balanced, and loving wife who just picks up and leaves one day and guts her ex-husband for everything he has, regardless of him being a model husband.
However, we’ve had tons of examples of widowed husbands marrying a new woman 30 days after his model wife’s death🤷🏻♀️.
Regardless, this is the hypothetical scenario these types of men use to rationalize their marriage phobia.
These men view themselves as blameless victims of their hypothetically failed marriage before anything even happens, it’s already all the hypothetical wife’s fault for the divorce and he’s collateral damage from the hypothetical marriage, a total narcissistic mentality.
Any dude that absolves himself of responsibility of a hypothetical marriage failing will fail at their actual marriage.
Women are the enemy and are always out to get them. This guy is wounded and lost; there is no reason to waste your time.
They don’t remotely consider it takes two people to make a marriage work and fail.
They also love to scare you into believing all men feel like this, so you better get used to scraps and settling. It’s another way to keep you right where they want you, insecure and settling for their scraps out of fear that this is all there is.
It ain’t.
Millions of healthy, loving, and good men want to seek a woman to love and commit to. Monogamy and companionship are human nature; it’s found and represented in the animal kingdom all over nature, and we are happiest, healthiest, and most fulfilled in a safe, loving, and healthy monogamous relationship heading toward marriage.
Find men who have a healthy attitude toward women, understand the benefits of having a woman around (more than just sex), and genuinely want to foster a healthy relationship that is give and take, not tit for tat.
Related Reading: 50 Awesome At Home Date Ideas for Homebodies
how to get husband
I promise that the man who wants to commit and marry you is out there. Among all the nihilistic, cynical MGTOW men, healthy, open, loving, and worthy men can’t wait to grow a life with you and give you what you need to feel safe, loved, and cherished. These men are aware of the risks but choose you.
Those men who do not want to get married are happy to string you along.
They don’t care if you feel safe, secure, or cherished because you’re more of a fun supplemental accessory to his life, not a priority.
That defines the Forever Girlfriend more than anything…a fun accessory to his life, like a pet, not a priority.
Remember, you can’t change him or wait for a different result while doing the same thing. Get after what you deserve, ladies, and don’t settle for less.
Finding husbands means being honest, open, and clear about what you want and your expectations. How do I get a husband? ; remember your worth, know when to walk away, and good luck.